(so this was written at the end of february, and apparently never posted. sorta like when you type the long epic text message only to look down 2 hours later and realize you never pushed send...)
this post could just easily be called, "my daily mantra". i am learning a lot about God's timing and the difference between trusting God, and really trusting God. our classes are a little more than half over, and our paper work is nearly completed. in the mean time, a sibling group has been identified that we are very interested in. on paper, and in our minds, this is a no brainer. but i am committed to leaning on God and resting in his timing (although it feels like more like trying to fall asleep on the most restless night imaginable - the kind where your mind doesn't stop and you continually toss and turn, you know the one).
the bible is FULL of God's promises. John 14:18, Hebrews 6:19, Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 12:9-10 are the ones that are daily getting me through this. i know enough about the home life of these sweet kids that each day that passes kills me more. but i also know this is all they know - while it may be hellish, it is home to them. and i while the odds are i only know the tip of the iceberg, God sees the WHOLE iceberg, every nook and cranny. as i have often said when I'm stuck in a hard place with my kids, God loves these kids more than i do. that seems impossible to us a parents, we'd do anything for our kids. but He feels the same way about us, and i am so grateful he does. i know God wants the sweet kids to have a better life. i don't know if he has us for them and them for us or not, but whatever his plan is, i know is it much better than mine.
so i will choose trust. open handed, mindful trust.
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